well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
