And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dude. I can hear the air.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
