there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A+ Viking dick
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize