I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think people are normalizing furries
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