ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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