Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
