You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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