It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
