I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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