so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize