he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
