it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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