The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
