You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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