OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
