A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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