i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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