I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
