I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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