I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ok first of all what the fuck
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
