You really coming over, don't trick.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
