Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize