u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
