Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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