that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize