You're my little dorito
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize