with your own penis?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
