bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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