You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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