And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
