Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
