I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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