you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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