And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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