In the future we'll all be gay
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
