I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
