Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
