i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
