Ambien. No doubt about it.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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