I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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