I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
