Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
