Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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