I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
