I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
