I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
