I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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