I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
