if only i could text you this smell
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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