it was like his penis was on wheels.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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