He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
