He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
