You work out of a Hotel?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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