Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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