Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
