I'm going to jail i love you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
