That's intense
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
