there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
