I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
