I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
