i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
