Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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