i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
